Growth stage

When I was a little girl, I remember my siblings telling me about how if you collected caterpillars, they would turn into these beautiful butterflies. I thought how cool is that?!? I really wanted to try this so I found a jar, collected my caterpillar, placed it in his new home and was super excited to wake up in the morning to see my new butterfly.  Clearly my siblings failed to mention the process behind it all because when I woke up in the morning, no butterfly. I watched my caterpillar do pretty much nothing except crawl around, eat leaves, and crawl around some more. It did absolutely nothing, for weeks!

I will admit, throughout this process, I kind of stopped paying attention to my caterpillar daily and would check in on it periodically each week just to see if it was still alive. I’m not sure if I did this out of obligation but I do remember getting to a point where I yelled “why can’t you just change already?” and walked away. 

Weeks later, It did happen though…my caterpillar did change…except it wasn’t into the butterfly that I was promised but this strange thing that looked like something out of an alien movie. I did get excited to see the change but in relation to the previous, it just hung there, hiding away from the world, doing absolutely nothing, for weeks! Again, I yelled “why can’t you just be a butterfly already?” and walked away.

Weeks later, it did happen though…my caterpillar did change…it emerged out of it’s strange shell and morphed into this beautiful butterfly. I missed the transition process as I was too busy being bored with it all but I definitely paid notice after the change took place. Can you imagine how excited I was? How exciting it would be to finally have my butterfly after weeks and weeks? I opened the lid off of that jar so fast and guess what? The butterfly flew out, never looked back and was never to be seen again. 

I was so mad! The nerve of this butterfly to just fly away like this after I took care of it for weeks and weeks and weeks. I fed it, checked on it, pushed it to change and when it finally did, it left me. You know that part in the movie where the person goes “whyyyyy?” That was me!

Self awareness, Reflection and Awakening stage

In the first phase, what I didn’t realize at the time, was that each day I was impatient, the caterpillar was busy getting ready to take it’s next step in life. I didn’t notice it because I couldn’t see any daily physical changes. Therefore, I couldn’t appreciate what the caterpillar was trying to do let alone the things it was doing in the moment. 

In the second phase, I noticed the change that had happened because it was a physical change but I missed out on the whole process. I came back into the caterpillars life because of the change but I was really reaping the rewards without being there for my caterpillar during the time it needed me. I really hadn’t learned anything from reaping the rewards because as soon as that caterpillar started hanging around and what I thought was him doing nothing again, I ignored it. 

In the third phase, I once again noticed the change in a huge way when the caterpillar morphed into the beautiful butterfly. By this time, I got greedy because I really wanted the reward of reaping what I didn’t sow, but thought I did. I wanted to be a part of the outcome but not a part of the process which took the most work. It was only when the butterfly flew away and I never saw it again, was when I realized that my ignorance was the cause of my demise. 

Breakthrough Stage

I didn’t nourish my caterpillar, give it support or positive affirmations and most of all, I didn’t show it love. I just wanted the instant gratification of that caterpillar becoming a butterfly by not allowing it to become that on it’s own time, I wanted it on my time. I was trying to force my caterpillar to be what I wanted it to be instead of allowing it to be what it wanted to be. It’s funny, not funny though because no matter how much that caterpillar was yelled at or ignored for being slow or different, it still turned into a beautiful butterfly in the end. I continued collecting caterpillars after this but made a choice not to make the same mistakes again. Through the process, I was able to learn patience, enjoy each morphing moment and appreciate the hard work and dedication it took to build that little cocoon. I was there to watch the butterfly emerge from it’s cocoon and even though it still flew away, I knew I was setting it free with only good intentions and an internal place of love.

Closing

In closing, knowing your self worth, your purpose, your passion even when others don’t can be one of the strongest strengths you can hold within yourself. You don’t have to live your life the way others think or say you do nor do you have to move at the same pace. Each person is on their own journey of discovery and whether you are miles ahead or miles behind of someone, it’s still your own. There will always be people ahead of you and always those behind you. Some will surpass you and some will fall back. Those who stay along with you for your journey are the ones you want to keep with you and the ones who just want to reap the rewards, those are the ones you need to fly away from. It sounds easy for me to say this and possibly easier said than done but when you find this within yourself, it’s a part of the internal freedom that no one can ever take away from you. 

This story is in relation to a real life relationship and how ignorance can turn into bliss if you trust in yourself.